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Writer's pictureEsther Brownwood

Too weird to fit in?

weird

adjective

ˈwird 

1

: of strange or extraordinary character : odd, fantastic

2

: of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural : magical

noun

1

: fate, destiny

especially : ill fortune

2

: soothsayer


adjective

ˈwi(ə)rd

1

: of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or magic

2

: very unusual or strange : fantastic



Dear Friend, 


Do you ever feel that you’re too weird, too different, or too odd to be acceptable? 

Well, I sure do! 


That is why I’m here to talk about fitting in, the big picture, and how everything is exactly as it’s supposed to be. 


As spring usually is, this has been a time of intense transformation, both consciously and unconsciously. It’s also a time when animals shed their thick winter coats to acclimate to the heat of the summer. 


The other day, as I was petting the cat I love, his fur got all over my clothes. Though I usually pay it no mind and brush it off, this time I picked up a strand and examined it. It was an off-white color, with the tip transitioning to a dark brown patch that turned back to white. There were many more, each similar but having unique qualities of their own. 


It got me thinking about how strange one single strand of fur looks. 

I realized that if my life took the form of that piece of fur, I’d be freaked out about how weird I am. I mean, who wants to be an asymmetrical, weird-looking, flimsy strand? Not me!


However, when you zoom out and look at the big picture, it’s the perfect fit. 


That piece of fur must look like that in order for us to see the beautiful cat it belongs to. I don’t question whether or not the cat looks “normal". I know it looks exactly how it should. 


As you might have already guessed, this is a great metaphor for our individual selves living in this big world. 


Just as we are made up of atoms, which create molecules that create cells that combine to form tissues, which make up organs. 

We, as humans, also make up larger systems that we may not be aware of. Our individual selves are part of families that belong to communities in towns within countries on continents sharing the same planet.


We might feel that we are strange beyond compare, that we have qualities that could never add up to something beautiful. But the truth is, we are strands of fur living upon this great cat-planet. 


We individuals don’t know why we look, act, or feel the way we do. However, there might be a bigger picture, unbeknownst to us, that requires us to have these attributes. 

A singular strand of hair probably doesn’t know that it contributes to creating something as beautiful, special, and unique as a coat of fur. 


The beauty, despair, and mystery of life are all hidden in these very strands. In the parts of us that we feel make us so strange. The truth is, these might be the missing puzzle pieces to complete the picture. We may think of these qualities as hindrances, but at the end of the day, they may be our greatest blessings.


I believe this works on a smaller, more individual scale, too. 

Have you ever been nervous and happy at the same time? Or experienced awe in the depths of your sadness? 


That’s because we each contain many different aspects within ourselves. We all have parts of us who are more confident and adventurous, coexisting with parts of us that are lonely and scared. 


These selves are the building blocks of personality. I’m sure that if we could isolate certain aspects, such as a hurt or wounded part of us, it would be weird! You would feel wrong. That’s because we are not meant to be one thing. We are meant to experience the full spectrum of emotions. That comes with not rejecting parts of us just because we don’t understand their place. 


If we are stuck in one aspect of ourselves, this is a good reminder that that’s not all we are. We are so much more than one strand. We are the full coat. Or both, from different perspectives. 


So this month, I hope you take the time to consider all parts of yourself. Especially the ones that make you feel “different,” “weird,” “odd,” “strange,” or any other “negative” quality. Attempt to zoom out and see how they might be in their perfect place at the perfect time. How do they complete your puzzle? 


Everything is there for a reason. The things I feel weird about might be the most necessary aspects of myself from a view I can’t yet see with these human eyes. Maybe that means I can own these parts of myself without shame?


No matter what, I’m with you. I love you - and your weirdness!

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